Jessie had a shallow sleep. This is going to be a long and dreadful day. Thursday is like a Monday to her. She doesn’t get off work until 8pm when it’s dark and cold outside. Today in particular, is more like Friday the 13th.
While
drinking her morning smoothie, Jessie’s mom nudged her with sensitivity. Today
is the only legitimate day of the year her parents are allowed to release their
curiosity. . . and concern. The fact is, she has not been updating them on
anything juicy for a long while.
Jessie snapped:”don’t ask. Cousin Adam is 30
years old. He is still single.”
“And you wonder why he is the only one who
still writes to you regularly.” That’s right, Adam is all nuts about recycling and
protecting the environment. What is my excuse?
“Besides, you are almost 30,
too.”
“What?! I am turning 28 this year.” Jessie almost choked on a chunk of
banana that escaped between those killer blades.
“Life began at conception.”
“That’s madness. You
are never that serious about Christianity!”
“Look mom. It’s not that I don’t
want to. That’s all I can tell you at this point.” Jessie quickly stood up from
the table and almost collided with her dad’s overly-stretched ear.
“Okay, I will
start paying rent if I am still living with you guys when I turn 30.”
Jessie works
at a local hospital as a librarian. As she walked into the hospital, she
realized that a lot of her colleagues were wearing either pink or red, the same
flock of people who dress up on Halloween. Then, she was shocked to discover that she was
wearing purple today! She couldn’t remember if this was a conscious choice. Jessie
did a habitual motion to push her glasses upward. She suddenly realized she was
wearing contacts today! What happened this morning was a blur after her mother’s
interrogation at the breakfast table. There
is only one person in this world that can make me willfully stick my finger into
my eyeballs. Could this be a sign?
Jessie
frantically checked on her phone for any missed calls or unread messages. There
was none, she already knew it. She went to Inbox, Junk, Spam and Trash for new
emails. There was none. Suddenly, there was a surge of fear. Did she miss any
mails sent to her address? Over the years, the only communication she received
was a card. A card that says:” Jessie, keep you in prayer!” It was sent by a stranger
who knows Jessie for reasons logic could not explain. It was the only solid
proof that she is not living in a delusion. Jessie tucked that card in between
the pages of a palm-size bible. She never read her scriptures from that bible;
she only uses it as an amulet.
The thought
of that card made Jessie believed in this day with a deeper conviction. It also
brought back memories hidden in the most inaccessible place in her heart, the
core. How and when did this occasion become so unbearable?
“Hi, excuse
me Jessie!”
As Jessie
lifted up her head, she saw a therapist was standing right in front of her. She
didn’t even see him came in.
“Hi, Ryan. How
can I help you?”
“I am just
wondering if there is any donated equipment. I am looking for a commode chair
for a patient who cannot afford to buy a new one."
“I don’t
have anything at this point. I will let you know.”
“Thank you!
Everything is alright?”
“Yeah. I
will send you an email if anything comes up.”
What was it
that Ryan was asking for? A wheelchair, a shower bench or a raised toilet seat?
It was obvious that Jessie was in distress. She should not have come to work
today. Next year, I am going to take a
sick day. I am sick. My heart is sick.
Jessie
jumped when her telephone rang. “Resource centre, how can I help you?”
“Joanna Sears.”
It was a man’s voice.
“Joanna . .
. “ For two seconds, she could not process this name. “Ohhhh!” She suddenly
remembered Joanna is the Finance Director. The man giggled.
That’s
strange. People usually call the receptionist if they wish to be transferred.
She did not think much before redirecting the call. Then she recognized the
voice. Though she had not heard from him for ages, his voice was unique to her
ears. There was a stroke of softness in his voice. Only when he was with her,
he would reveal a feminine side of him.
Could this be him? Was he checking to see if I was
at work? Jessie’s
world suddenly turned right side up. She
glanced at the door, imagining someone walking in with a single stem of red
rose. One would be enough. She had never received flowers in her life. For the
next 4 hours, she became hyperactive. She checked her phone and email every 10
minutes. She looked out her window with every chance she got. She decided to
log in to her neglected Facebook account. Oh, how she hates Facebook with a
passion. While staring at her blank relationship status, she wondered if Jesus could
change it one day like how he changed water into wine.
It was seven
o’clock. The hospital became quiet. Jessie’s mood had plunged to a new low. Hope
had abandoned her. She looked around and saw no body. Most patients had gone
back to their room. She could cry now. She buried her face deep into her palms
and let her demons took control. She had nothing but resentment toward God. She
felt like He was purposely trialing her without giving her the power to
overcome her obstacles. “Are you okay?” Jessie lifted up her head and saw Alice
the social worker. I didn’t know she was
working late today. She handed Jessie a heart-shaped lollipop. The diamond
on her finger was blindingly bright. “Yeah, I am okay.” “Happy . . . Have a
good night Jessie!” “Thank you Alice. Happy Valentine’s day!”
It was 8pm,
time to get off work. As Jessie was packing, she saw her amulet sitting
peacefully inside her bag. I certainly
did not remember I had it with me today. I usually put it under my pillow. She
took out that mysterious card and read it one more time “He will cover you with
His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge.” Suddenly, she felt
like God had just spoken to her. This is
the solid evidence that what she believes in is real.
It was
snowing outside. Snow petals were like feathers swinging and dancing in the
sky. Jessie stretched out her hands to receive her heavenly gift. Maybe God’s
timing has not come yet. Maybe, it’s next year, or the year after, or after I turn
40. I could wait.
As Jessie
walked another 10 steps forward, a man emerged out of the darkness. Time
paused. It was someone she had not seen for years, yet she recognized him right
away as that beloved stranger. They both ran toward each other and met at the
halfway point. “I am sorry, I’m late.” The man said in a voice as gentle as a
lamb. Jessie silenced him by sealing his lips with hers. No explanation needed.
She knew this would be her last Valentine’s Day, because from next year on they
would be celebrating their Anniversary.
