Karen got down to the party room about 10 minutes to noon. "Anything I can do to help?" She asked Tara, the head of the social committee. "Oh, how lovely Karen, I guess you can put the centre pieces onto each table." Tara pointed to the dozen Poinsettias on the floor. As Karen knelt down, she quickly took her wrapped present out of the grocery bag and shoveled it under the Christmas tree. . .
Coworkers started to show up at the party. Everyone had a wrapped gift in their hands. Karen lurked behind a tremendous pot of Poinsettia and observed. She tried to remember which gift belonged to whom. She paid particular attentions to the ones coming from people who contributed the most at the Halloween Potluck Luncheon. "Oh hey Karen, look like we are assigned to the same table." George from Tech Support beamed at Karen with a jolly smile. Minutes later, Xiao Min from accounting and Vivian the student interim also joined the table. Xiao Min was a newcomer, apparently it's her first Christmas in Canada. Vivian claims that she is 21 but looking like 12 with her watery eyes and pore-less skin. This was a table with an interesting mix of demographic, we have someone who still believes in Santa Clause, someone who never believes in Santa Clause, someone who, believe me, looks like Santa Clause, AND Karen, who never ever ever wants anything to do with Santa Clause, like ever.
The CEO was giving a toss: "Thank you for coming to this fabulous Christmas Party. I want to thank the lovely ladies in the social committee; I want to thank everyone for your passions and dedications in 2017. I want to thank blah blah blah. . . Let's line up for food and get the party started!" Karen launched out of her chair. She had not had anything substantial since yesterday's breakfast. She was very generous at giving herself a full plate of every thing, chicken, spring rolls, short ribs, salmon, etc. Though it was a lunch, she was tackling it like the last supper. At the dessert table, she saw a pile of fortune cookies. She said to Frank who was next to her, "Will you give me a fortune cookie?"
"Huh?" Frank was puzzled for the fact that Karen was literally standing between him and the cookies.
"Oh, it's a thing, you cannot pick your own fortune, someone else has to pick for you." Karen said with dead seriousness.
"Oh, my pleasure." Frank picked the best looking one from the bunch.
The food was extremely delicious. Karen savored each bite and sucked the juice out of every molecule. George had a different approach, he needed to shovel down as much food as possible before his brain sends the "full" signal. Xiao Min and Vivian didn't come with a particular strategy. They were just eating, smiled awkwardly, and feeling insecure as the newest members of the company. For a good ten minutes, no one really said a word at the table while the rest of room was as noisy as a Christmas market.
"Okay everyone, we gonna play an ice-breaker game." Tara continued, "You have a sticker on your back. It has the name of a famous person or a cartoon character. You have to guess 'who you are' by asking your neighbors a series of 'yes' or 'no' question. . . Does that make sense? Yeah?"
"I have a sticker on my back?" Karen couldn't remember when and how.
"Yes, do you wanna start with yours?" George asked.
"Sure. . ." Ain't her thing, but she just wanted to get it over with. "Live, dead or a cartoon?"
"Karen, you have to ask a yes or no question." Vivian said.
"Fine." She rolled her eyes. "Is it alive?"
"Yes, he is."
"White, black, brown, yellow or orange?"
"Again, you have to ask yes or no questions."
"Seriously." Karen rolled her eyes again, but this time, she made sure that they landed on Vivian's big and watery eyes.
"Orange..." Vivian said quietly.
"Trump, Ed Sheen or Prince Harry."
"Wow, you are good." George said, "It's Ed Sheen".
"Although technically Ed Sheen is a Ginger. It's a new thing, he started a new category. Isn't that cute that instead of naming the color, we describe it as a beloved produce? I mean, we should do that for black, white, brown and Asian people too." Vivian carefully put it in a politically correct way.
"We have that for black, white and brown already, it's chocolate, milk and caramel." Karen said.
"What about Asians?" Xiao Min finally broke the ice.
"Asians are a bit complicated. You see, we use 'banana'. But, banana is a term that only describes Asians who are actually White at heart." Vivian explained.
"So, you wanna find an appropriate fruit that is inclusive for all Asians?" Asked George.
"Lemon?"
"No, Lemons are sour, it's not technically edible." Xiao Min protested.
"Lemonade?"
. . .
Not only was the ice cracked, it melted like the North Pole. "Let's do Xiao Min's". Vivian was all pumped up. She turned Xiao Min around and the sticker on her back reads --- Neil Armstrong. "Who's that?" Great, it's gonna take a while. Karen drifted away. Her thoughts took her far, far into the galaxy and landed her on a planet called "the Dead Star". . .
May 17th, 1992, Karen turned sweet 16. She awoke from a dreamless sleep. She opened her eyes and saw the world in a completely different light from the day before. The very first thought that flooded her conscious was, "Santa Clause is not real, neither was Mrs. Clause, the Alf, the Reindeer, and the Grinch." There, she figured it out, she did, all by herself. Sixteen was the turning point for her, the curse of naiveness was finally lifted. She couldn't believe that the whole wide world would work together to prey on the innocence of little children by telling them that Santa Clause is real. Every single Christmas, Karen would write a 200-word letter to Santa and tell him about all her proud accomplishments, the tantrums that she did not throw, and the physically tiresome chores that she did for allowance. She'd do everything to land herself on Santa's Nice List. Every year, when she sat on Santa's laps in the mall, she would tell Santa exactly what she wanted for Christmas and he would nod and nod and said that it would be delivered. But she never got a present that she asked for. Many times, her present showed up only after her parents came back from their Boxing Day frenzy. "Santa was too busy delivering gift that he couldn't make it on time." Though Santa never kept his promise, she always believed. Her faith was renewed annually in time for Christmas. If Santa is not real, then what else is fake news? Is time linear? Is Earth really rounded? Is climate change a hoax? And most recently, is Old Taylor really dead?
"Is he a scientist?" Xiao Min asked.
"Finally we are getting somewhere. Yes!" After Googling, Vivian knew Neil like a friend.
"Cut to the chase, he walked on the moon." Karen was now drowning in the Arctic Ocean.
"Is it Michael Jackson?"
"No, Michael Jackson did the Moonwalk. But this person literally walked on the moon." George became inpatient as well.
"Really? Did Neil Armstrong really walk on the moon? I mean, you actually believe that?" Karen was visibly upset.
"Okay, everyone, it's time for our Gift Exchange." Tara shouted with excitement. "Thank you for bringing a wrapped gift, I saw some very fancy and creative wrapping techniques. If you are new to this game, this is how it goes: at the back of your name tag, there is a number. I will call each number chronologically. When it's your turn, you will come up and pick a gift for yourself. You will unwrap your gift, make sure that everyone knows what it is. The people who come after you will have a chance to steal your gift and if your gift gets stolen, you can pick another gift, which might be stolen again, and you will have to pick another one. . . until everyone ends up with a gift. Does that make any sense? Yeah? Okay, let's get into it. Number 1!" Karen turned her name tag around, it says "35." She hit the Jackpot! It's the last number, which means she could steal anyone's gift. She could choose anything she wants!
Jeff from Marketing was the first to pick a gift. He pulled all of them into the open and chose the biggest and tallest gift. He unwrapped it, and it was a three-tiered high tea tray, beautiful and shining. "Wuuu", "Ahhh", everyone was amazed, everyone wanted it. Jeff walked to his table to pick up a dirty napkin, he then wiped his DNA all over the tray. Message received. Karen didn't think the three-tiered tray was very ideal for her. She doesn't entertain much. . . One after the other, Karen evaluated each revealed gift based on its market value and practicality. She liked a few of them, but she was still waiting for "the One".
Vivan's turn was up, "hmm, I think it's an apron." Tara stopped her while she was unfolding it, "It's okay sweetie, no one wants your apron". . . George got a steaming tray, but apparently he preferred his food fried. . . When it was Xiao Min's turn, there weren't that many options left. She picked the one that was the biggest among the rest. When she opened it up, it was a beautiful piece of wall decor. Though the wrapping was torn off, it was still in its original cardboard box. Karen smiled with the smile of a Shopping Mall Santa. She found the One. This gift would be the perfect gift to re-gift. (She is playing Secret Santa at her knitting club on Saturday).
"Last but not least, number 35!" Karen didn't even have to get up from her chair. She grabbed the gift from Xiao Min's hand. "I want this." Xiao Min didn't seem to be upset, because there was still one gift left, one hope for an even better surprise. She went back to the Christmas tree and took out the last gift. It was kinda small compared to other packages, but car keys are small, diamonds are small, and the tweeting hands of the President are definitely small. "I love the wrapping paper and the bow." Xiao Min was giving her commentary along the way, since everyone was attentively waiting for a grand finale. "It's. . . it's a . . . it's a can of cat food. " A nightmare wrapped in a day dream. "I don't even have a cat." The room went LOL and triggered an artificial earthquake. "Thanks to whoever it is that gave us the gift of joy and laughter." Karen shouted out her commentary. Xiao Min laughed too, trying to make lemonade out of her lemons.
"Hey honey, let me cheer you up with pictures of my cute cats." Karen put her arms around Xiao Min like her new BFF. "This is Pikachu. . . this is She-nay-nay. . .this is Bokchoy. . . this is Bazinga, and this, well, the others don't know, but this fuzzy little dude is my favorite, his name is Berbie, not Baby, but Ber-Bee."
"Is it name after someone, like Bieber?" Vivian really wanted to know.
"No, it means baby."
Xiao Min said, "Oh, you have this many cats, do you want this cat food?"
The luncheon was a huge success. As Karen was cleaning her table, she saw her fortune cookie. She opened it up like a present. The words were delivered right on time "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas Now."
