Tuesday, March 24, 2020

What If We Die




The movie Contagion is trending right now. I saw it in the theater when it first came out. I didn’t really like it at the time. It was a bit boring compared to other apocalyptic movies. But when I watched it again just now, it was really captivating even though I still remember the plot and ending. ABC News had a segment on this, trying to identify the facts and fictions in this movie. It turned out that most things are fair games: the mass causality, the sacrifice of health care workers, the riot and violence, etc. But the only fictional part in the movie is that “vaccines cannot be developed in such short amount of time”.

No one actually knows how many people will be killed in this “war”. The social and economic chaos will cause even more dire and lasting damages than the virus itself. Most of the articles I wrote within these 1-2 weeks are no longer meaningful. The “hopes” and “good news” that I tried to give are no longer applicable. For example, the experimental drug Remdesivir is not as effective as previously believed; Taiwan is no longer in a comfortable position as thousands of citizens are returning from abroad; China’s second surge is on the horizon as the country is rebooting its economy. I saw a video of a woman in China crying “I will never see him again!” as she was clinging onto the back of a vehicle containing her husband’s body. It was absolutely heart broken. Besides feeling sad for her, I also felt sad for the fact that for many people like her, death was believed to be the end. That video prompted me to write this article, probably the last article on Covid19. But the Hope and Good News that I am offering in this article will not expire.

As I was brainstorming about this article, I remember something that I wrote three years ago. In September 2017, I was a volunteer at my church’s Alpha program (a program for people who are exploring Christianity). During our first session, I was sitting beside an 80-years-old Japanese man. His name is Toyo. He is a University professor. He has published many books on Suicides. He’s an expert in that field and he is quite famous in Japan. He came to Alpha as a “scientist”. On his second session, he gave me a piece of paper with 5 questions, two of them being, “What are the definitive scientific proofs of God’s existence?” and “Why is there so much suffering in the world?” These two questions are probably in your mind as well. I tried to answer them by saying:


“If there are definitive scientific proofs that God exists, then “whether or not God exists” would not have been an endless debate lasting for centuries. If we have definitive scientific proofs, then we would not have religious divisions in the world. We would not have atheists in the world. There is no definitive scientific proof that God exists, there is only evidence of His existence. Whether or not, these evidences are convincing enough, it’s up to that individual.

Jesus was born 2000 years ago. There were no pictures of him and no videos of him. But we have testimonies from people in his life and eye witnesses of his resurrection documented in the bible. If these “evidence” are not convincing enough, then for some people, I guess no amount of scientific evidence is enough unless Jesus Christ is standing right in front of them. But for many of us, 2.2 billion Christians around the world, we really don’t need to see Jesus Christ in person to believe in his existence. We believe in him because all the evidences in our own life, we believe in God when we see lives being created, restored, and changed through faith in Him.  To us, these evidences are qualified as “proofs”. Christianity is based on Faith. “Faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see (Hebrew 11:1)”. 

But if there is a God, then why is there so much suffering in the world?

I heard this great parable about a priest getting a haircut at a barbershop. The barber asked the priest, “Look at all the violence in the world, natural disasters and people dying. Where is God in the midst of these? Does God even exist?” The priest walked out of the barbershop and found a beggar on the street, he was all hairy, his beard was really long and messy. The priest brought the beggar into the barbershop and said, “there is no barber in this world.”

Do you have one of these smart phones that people use all the time? 10 years ago, the invention of iPhone by Steve Jobs changed the world. From then on, a cellphone not only makes phone calls, it is a mini computer, it can do everything. Now, if I tell you that something so smart, so innovative, and so technically advanced just came out of nowhere, it came to its own existence without a creator, would you believe that? Of course no, Steve Jobs was its creator. When we drop our iPhone in the toilet, when we break its screen or when it’s lost, do we blame Steve Jobs for it?

Our world and our universe are so intricate, so smart and so complicated. To me, the birth of an infant is a miracle, when a tiny egg and a tiny sperm combines together, a life is created, a child is born and it has the potential to grow into a 6-feet tall person. Yet the person originated from two tiny sperm and egg. The hairs on our head, eye lashes, eye brows, they all play different roles, the brows absorb and channel away sweats so they don’t fall into our eyes. Our hairs always grow but our lashes don’t, otherwise they will block our vision. The universe has infinite number of stars, planets, solar systems and galaxies, who set all of them in motion? Do you know that if the sun were 1 meter closer to the earth, we would have all been burnt to death, life would not have been possible in the first place? What about the snowflakes under microscope, they are all uniquely beautiful. I am a woman of Science. I believe in Evolution, I have a good understanding of Natural Selection, Survival of the Fittest, and the fact that animals and plants will adapt to different environments by modifying their features and appearances. But I don’t believe Evolution is anti-Creation. I think that when God designed a life, He made it adaptable and flexible. Just like the iPhone, it is programmed to receive an upgrade every once in a while in order for it to perform better.

I believe that Science and God are not contradicting. Science provides an explanation, a window into God’s mechanisms. Stephen Hawkins once said, "Before we understood science, it was natural to believe that God created the universe, but now science offers a more convincing explanation."  When you use a microscope to examine a tiny cell, when you use a telescope to look beyond our galaxy, you will be marveled by how smart the designer is. I believe that there is a God behind all creations, but similar to a broken iPhone, when the world goes wrong, can we blame our creator?

Why is there so much suffering in this world right now? Jesus’s answer to this question is, “this world is temporary”. The Book of Revelation says that on the last days, there will be so many natural disasters, plagues, wild fires, earth quakes, wars and rumours of wars. It’s like a woman about to give birth, the earth will experience excruciating amount of pain, but when Jesus returns, it’s like a child being born, the joy of a newborn will make the woman forget about her suffering just moments ago. Have you witnessed how a real Christian deals with their suffering and lost? My favorite pastor Greg Laurie from Harvest Ministry lost his 28-year old son in a motorcycle collision. He was devastated, for a while he was mad at God. But it was through the lost of his son that he was able to minister to other parents who have lost a child. He soon found a divine reason for his lost. And because he has faith in God and the hope of Heaven, he is sure that he will see his son again. That gives him strength to overcome his lost.  
Jesus spent 1/3 of his ministry talking about Heaven and his second coming. The entire bible devotes a great amount of text and prophecies on God’s judgment day and the end of the world. As Christians, our hope is not in this life, a finite amount of time that is too short compared to eternity in Heaven. This might sound like a fairy tale to unbelievers, it was ridiculous to me before. But now, Why don’t I want to believe in Heaven? Why would anyone rather believe that death is the end? How can anyone prove that death is the end, they would have to die to find out for real, right?

Though I cannot definitively prove that there is heaven, there are evidences of heaven provided by people who have actually gone to heaven, or have had those near death experience. Working at a hospital with people who had traumatic injuries, I have 4 friends who had that near dead experience. I believe in them, because they have all been transformed by that experience. Though all of them are living with different degrees of physical disabilities, the fact that they saw God and Heaven gave them hope to endure the suffering in this life.

That was part of my 8-page answers to his questions, but I doubt if he actually read it all. By the end of the Alpha program, he was still “searching”. But many months later, my friend told me that she saw Toyo coming to the service every Sunday and sometime he even went up to the front to ask for prayers. I don’t think he believed because he found his answers about God through logic and reasons. He simply gave God a chance with his blind faith, however small it was.

I thought it was God’s arrangement for me to sit next to Toyo. We broke the ice real quick when I told him that I am in a wheelchair because of a suicidal attempt. When I was 18 years old, I started to experience my first clinical episode of bipolar disorder. Not knowing anything about mental illness, I was untreated. Without sleep for 2 months, I was completely insane and suicidal. I tried to commit suicide by jumping off my condo’s balcony from the 8th floor. Miraculously, I survived. But because of a spinal cord injury, I have been using a wheelchair since. I am now 35 years old, I have never been happier and joyful in my life. The source of my hope is Jesus. My parent and I were hard core atheists before, but my injury humbled us and opened our eyes to the existence of God and His Grace. It was at that darkest period in our lives, when we were dealing with death, that we found our hope. You can read a full version of my story here:


I used to have phobias for many things as someone who lives with an untreated mental illness. I used to have a phobia for death. It’s actually a real condition like when people are afraid of height and closed space. It would trigger a panic attack when I thought about Death. But being a Christian has completely transformed me and healed me. My faith in Christ has totally eliminated that fear for death. Surely, I will still dread the process of dying, but death itself has been replaced by the hope of life, life eternally.

I am sure you have been preached on by someone before: a small pamphlet stretched out to you from a stranger, a friend that once invited you to their church, or a miraculous story that you heard before. At the time, you might not think that they meant nothing. You were too busy to pursue your goals in life, and you had too much to give up for. Now that everything people built their hopes on has failed rather quickly, everything is placed on hold, even Sin City has turned its lights off, will you spend some time revisiting the idea?

If you read this article before the pandemic, you probably would not have made it this far. But now, considered the circumstances, will you give God a chance? Will you explore the possibility of His existence? Will you do some Googling on real scientific evidences of a historical Jesus? Will you start seeking with an open heart and mind? The fatality rate of LIFE is 100% anyway. Perhaps, this ordeal prompts us to think about our inevitable death now rather than later.

Here are some additional resources for you to get started: 

1)     Alpha’s first episode, which gives a lot of scientific evidence of a historical Jesus. Please try to watch the entire series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBMMD5C0k-s

2)     My friend Chris and Ning each has a supernatural near-death experience. You can read their stories here: https://elevensummers.blogspot.com/search/label/Spiritual

3)     You can also follow Greg Laurie’s Ministry. His teaching is always interesting, practical and timely. His viewers have quadrupled in the past two weeks. https://www.youtube.com/user/HarvestTV

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